It doesn't matter, nothing matters when he's around. He's always around. He never leaves, even when he's watching Gallows and Graves. He takes me there, he uses me.
I know when he's going to. He'll appear an inch away with that giant grin and I'll black out, next thing I know it I'm staring at this farm house in ruins on a property surrounded by graves. I'm not in control of myself then, he doesn't need my body but he takes it along anyways. I just feel trapped, I'm just standing there and watching as he does whatever it is he does.
He knows this all too. He knows everything that happens around him. I tried to run, Dia. I tried to contact you, Shady. I tried to do everything I can and it only paid off in me getting dragged back to my apartment. I mean that literally. I live on the fourteenth floor of my apartment complex. He dragged me up every flight, into every railing and around every bend. Mister Creevey doesn't need knives to cut me, his claws can do that just fine.
I got asked today at my job why I had a scar across my forehead. I couldn't think up anything, I laughed it off. It hurt inside, not because of the abuse he's dealt me but emotionally. The stress is eating me alive and he's just laughing at it. Waiting, for what? Me to break?
What does he want from me? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I don't want to do this anymore. He won't let me tell you all anything. He just wants me to ramble on about my pain, my anger, all this stupid dribble from a weak little girl.
I never wanted this. I never asked for him to cover my tracks. I don't owe him anything.
It feels like I do though. I don't like it. I think he's fucking with me. I feel dizzy.